At least..

Still headache about my mono-drama lines... But AT LEAST.. I've done on one thing !!

Hey.. guess what.. I just done reading THAT novel !! And the ending was........ aaaaah.. heart melting.. I've gone through lots of love stories but this one is simply different.. All thanks to Alexander Potter.. the writter for Don't You Forget Me.. Its a story for all the girls who wishes that she never met him.. And yes !! Its suitable to read it when you are dealing with a broken hear.. To all heart breaker out there.. I'll definitely recommended THIS novel to you girls !! It really will change your perception about the guy that you once madly in love with and all you would wish is for a second chance to make things right or even erase and delete and terminate and all the above on those silly crazy memories of yours but on the other hand you thinking that it's not worth it to think about him as your life must still go on with or without him and finally come to an amaze that you can actually life happily WITHOUT him !! It motivates A LOT !! And it REALLY helps !!

Hey Hey Hey.. Don't get me wrong.. I'm not dealing with this situation right now ok.. I was.. But not now.. I actually bought this novel right after I broke up with him.. cz the title and synopsis truly caught my attention.. But I didn't mange to read it during that time.. well.. you know.. busy lying around in bed flashing back stuff that we gone through together.. then.. Well.. when thinking about that.. I would just called himself 'lucky" as I didn't have the mood to noveling during that time.. Or else.. I'll surely be posting lots and lost of crazy motivated stuff which will surely made him feel wrong for leaving me JUST like that.. Hahahahha.. Ok.. I'm completely insane now.. Blueeekkk.. Who cares..

An advice for me to all the girls out there.. Stop trying to change yourself for the one YOU LOVE.. Because there will be SOMEONE out there who will just LOVE YOU for who you are.. Be you and just only YOU !! My point? Hehehe.. Be true to yourself.. :)

A quotes of myself --> Life won't let you lie in bed feeling sorry for yourself.. Life goes on and on.. And bare in mind that we are making new memories everyday.. So enjoy life to the fullest !! >.<

Responsibilities.... F !!

Hi all.. Here I am.. Again.. Staying up all alone while the rest are snuggling in their beds having their sweetest dream in the universe.. Still keeping my fingers dancing gracefully on the keyboard expressing something just to ease out the pity heart of mine.. 

Yes !! im gonna talk about responsibilities.. For those who don't know me.. im actually dedicated towards all my work since secondary school (im such a loser in my primary, that explains everything i guess) till now.. Yea.. But my inner is actually rebel.. sometimes.. But what to do.. When people around you expect you to come out with some sort of brilliant ideas that will 'wooooaaaaaaaaa' the whole school.. You just HAVE TO do it.. And on the other hand, some might just expect you to screwed everything up into a mess so that the whole wide world will be 'boo-ing' at you and you might probably thinking of running around the school with your faced covered with paper bags and hope that no one recognized you but actually does.. Thinking of that.. You surely don't want to make things upside down.. In that case.. You just HAVE TO do it right !! Headache huh.. Yea.. I was expecting that !! And now.. im facing a huge responsible during my honeymoon holiday and its the WORSE thing that ever happened to me !! It just simply RUIN my holidays !! 

Mono-drama.. Owh yes.. Im all in love with my world of theater of course.. But hey !! Memorizing the script during the holiday is not gonna work on ME !! Okay?? Read my lips.. ITS NOT GONNA WORK !! Im all alone.. No proper practice.. No proper guidance.. No proper encouragement.. Just you all alone struggling to remember every lines on the paper.. And at the end of the day you are going to perform it on stage ALONE !! Why? YES !! Its called MONO-DRAMA right !! So its MONO !! SINGLE !! ALONE !! Plus its not a simple on stage and off stage performance.. Its a COMPETITION !! Now it scares you does it? Well tell you what.. It scares me MORE !! 

Then why am i agree to join it at the first place? Hahahaha... That's the point.. It's not actually my responsibility... It's her job.. She said she want it.. And we (includes me) agrees to join it to support her.. But in the end she was telling that she has this family trip and want me to replace her.. Am i blaming her?? Owh.. Yes ?? No ?? Maybe.. Well i don't know !! Its not right pointing your fingers on others.. Plus it's not the point now.. The focus here is i MUST (no other option) take this responsibility..

When is it? Ah'ha !! That's a good question.. So guess what.. It's this coming 28th im talking about and its 4 days from now !! And well.. im going off on the 25th and that makes me even worry because....... i never even think about the costumes.. the lighting.. the props.. and of course the MAKE UP !! Arrrrrgggggghhhhhh !! Ok lets put it this way.. I've got the audio (but i haven't practice with it.... yet) E'ein is working on the lighting (so i'll cut it off from my list) I'm gonna find my costume by.... well.. lets see... just TOMORROW... And the makeup? (owh yea.. ecah will be going too.. so.. relieve? hmm.. hope so) GOSH !! Props??!!! Fine.... I don't think i'll need it.. Just the help from the costumes and the lights will do.. I hate thinking everything on my own when i actually.... to be telling you that.... i almost.... well to be honest..... I HAVEN"T ACTUALLY REMEMBER MY LINES............... Yes..... I'm such a failure....... Hi-5 to myself  !! :(

And still.. Here i am.. sitting down here blaming this and blaming that and didn't even have the urge to wake up and start memorizing my script....... WAIT !! I forget one thing...... My packing !! GOSH !! I'm slow in packing things up and now im gonna memorize PLUS packing my stuff by only TO-MOR-ROW?? Congratulations Winnie.. Lets see can you beat your high score.. Wait a minute.. I don't have a high score on that.. Cz i haven't have so little time for doing so much things before !! Hell no.. But guess what.. I think im gonna screw up this time.... Owh yes.. Sure.. No doubt you got the point.. It haven't been too late.. But HEY !! I DON"T HAVE THE CONFIDENCE NOW !! Do you get my point??!! F !!

So i think you can just conclude myself that.. Yes.. You're right.. I HATE responsibilities.. ACTUALLY.. -.-'

Dang !! - During the holidays ^^

Holidays. Yeah everyone really looking forward to it. Say YES to relax and NO to work. Err.. its exceptional for a part time house-wife k. Yea part time. Wake up just when the sun strikes on my butt everyday GOSH it's just so me hahaha. Enjoy my sleep during the holiday for sure. 10 hours AT LEAST kah3. Call me a spoiled brat please cause that's what i am. *wink*

But still there's one thing that is just so drama about me during this holiday.. which is i DON'T actually prefer to go outing lately. You see making appointment with friends. Meeting up at the same old place. Updating each other about our current status. Yea its fun sometimes, doing this together once in a while. But it will, sometimes, be err.. you know.. B.. O.. R.. yea right BORING when all these while you are the one who is just listening to the Stories and Happy Endings of others. There's the time you start thinking, wondering when is that Mr.Right gonna appear and make others listen to your stories for just ONCE at least.

No doubt im feeling happy for them. Not jealous, i mean.. yea.. im not. Why should i? None of them actually dating with my Mr.Dreamer..... Right?? Owh shit im actually thinking bout him right now and then. DANG !! 'Faced it Winnie. He's in a relationship already and you knew it just keep him out of your mind !!' FINE3 !! But hey, everyone have the right to dream right. Which means he is still my Mr.Dreamer........ *im now on cloud nine and really hoping for a slap from someone to get me back*

See.. its sucks right. Back to the track. I mean, it's pointless to go out meeting up with friends to just sitting and listening to their personal stories which i prefer to be in front of my lappy. go online, check through their FB status, blog walking a little and taaaaadaaaa... i still now their current progress.... Right?? Err.. don't get me wrong im not actually stalking... Am i?? 'Okay i kinda have a feeling that i am.. NOW' which is very --' of me *double triple =.="

My other point is.. Rather than dressing up yourself for just AN outing, you can actually be as ugly err i mean 'natural' as you are at home spending time with your family. And you know what, i realize errrrr i actually JUST realize that i missed out lots of stuff from both my bro and sis. I seldom have a heart to heart talk with my sister which i really miss it NOW. I seldom check on my bro's record book which he often hide it from me for some reasons. You know.. school student. And guess what he actually took it out a few days ago just for me to browse through but eventually i just put it on my dressing table without actually looking at it. GOSH what am i?? Thinking about it i really really feel bad NOW. DANG !! again..

As for my mummy.. "Hows everything back there at your campus?" And i was like "As usual. Normal. Nothing special. Fine" Think about that guys, if we can actually spend our time chit chatting about nonsense things with our FRIENDS why not spending time knowing our FAMILY better. *yeah !! you're absolutely right* And my advice really hit myself straight to my forehead *BAMM*. Lucky that im awake now. DANG !! Lucky? Just awake after 20 years living.. and you call it LUCKY? H-A-H-A-H-A !!

See guys.. Life is short.. So.. just.. stop fooling around and make it meaningful.. with your love ones. If you yourself can't even understands your OWN family, please don't spend another second trying to understand others personal so-called-happy-ever-after-stories.

Love ya mom. Love ya dad. Love ya vian. Love ya joe. And surely....
Happy Holidays to ALL !! With love................<3 ENJOY :))

FINALLY !!

just answer anything that pass through my mind just now thinking that its the last paper and im gonna finish it ASAP !! and yes !! FINALLY !! when the clock strikes 5 i trun to the back and talk as though its my world forgetting that im still in the exam hall hahahaha... really sorry but hey that shows how excited i am u see... hell yeah i should be that excited oke just imagine every batch in the campus already done their papers a few days before some even enjoying their sweet time back home at this moment and yes here we are still sitting here in this boring place struggling for our last paper excited like no one else business and no one even give a damn about it hahahhahhaa crazy but yes i am seriously super dupper excited !! FINALLY !! i can focus my 100% thinking about HOME !!

but yeah something do cut off my mood...THEM... yes FINALLY the time has come and yes its all bullshit if i say that i won't be missing them.. its just a lie if i say that we can still keep in touch so pls don't be to emo.. its just not me if i would just go back and enjoy my holiday that i've longed for without giving them a goodbye hung and kisses.. yes its just not me but i just hate the tears hate that feelings good-byes are always not good for me :( CUT !! you are really not good in acting sad mood winnie remember that so please don't do it now.. OKE !!

just hope that all of you will be strong in facing your future undertakings i know it will be a god damn hard task for you guys since our government just treat us like a toy to be experimented on but its ok i hope everything goes fine on you guys cause when there is a will there surely be a way. whatever happens always wish a bunch of thanks to all of you for the greatest memory that ever happen in my life..

i found the real me.. FINALLY !! ^_^

alone

doing things that you like will always gives you a different feeling... even you do it on your own.. :) it makes you feel independent rather than lonely.. it makes you feel peaceful rather than quiet.. it makes you feel that you can manage yourself well rather than always have the feeling of forever alone... *remember the troll face?* yeah i mean that kind of expression.. --' #next paper is on the 5th and i'm still relaxing as though it's over...cool~ yeah.

when fingers are guided by instinct

ok. what? dont just look at me like that. i didnt even start yet. ok i know.. yeah.. right.. oh yeah?? fine! sulk! that's all u know!

dear bloggie.. i've been like really away from you for a seriously god damn long long ago in a kingdom far far away there live a beautiful prin%$@&#% #slap !! hello !! get back to our business here.. get rid of the cloud above your head winnie !! blurghhh.. ok. its like a hell yeah useless lifeless and meaningless life there (facebook) scrolling the page up and down for about the whole hour in front of the lappy and the next thing you know the world just keep spinning really fast.. not waiting for anyone and there goes my day.. but still keep on repeating the same routine over and over again.. boring? sure do! but hei! im stubborn! yeah.. regret! that's the best word. it would be better still if i had spend a little time on you everyday at least to express how i feel everyday.. keeping it from memory to memories and smile whenever i get time to read it back. #sigh. im just not mature enough as an elder in the family.. bet my parents gonna be disappointed if they know what am i up to everyday.

what a lucky spoiled brat i am.. wake up at when the sun strikes my butt! last minute work always awaits! not to mention my revison for my finals! loads of movies while the next paper is on??? tomorrow morning !! check on my watch owh great only 4 hours left to rest my mind.. time management sucks! spending time with those unnecessary! screaming out "arrgghh im tension" when every little problem of mine is just because of me! owh how i miss my days with them! i love busy days! at least i know that im not sitting around doing nothing! busy days with the one i care doing the things i love.. i miss those day like seriously dude !! my night is now empty! wish that everyday ends quickly now! no...please don't !! i don't mean end.. just.. hope that time won't flies fast like.. how it suppose to be.. you just don't get it !! i didn't mean to fight what's beyond me i just want my life back !! the time.. on that spot.. where i used to scream whenever i get stressed out.. the time.. on that spot.. where i used to be the other me.. the time.. on that spot.. where i found the real me.. the time.. on that spot.. where i am me.. yes. the time.. when everything was like...........nothing now.

living a life as a bad thinker.. thinks that everyone have bad thoughts about me.. they are the one.. change my perception! i am me when im with them! and finally i found me in my real world and that makes me get attached to them.. thus it makes me sad.. real sad to be apart from them. yes. we can stand independently without them but it won't be the same. the time.. on that spot.. won't be the same.. the way i scream.. won't be the same.. the other me.. won't be the same.. the real me.. i hope it stays.. real. i know i can't.. i can't get back.. just.. hoping that it will be the same.. really hoping...............

generations? i hope we find them.. those who are willing.. not help us by just barely "helping" but help us "sincerely". the talent.. it burns in everyone of you.. why prefer to look through it as though you have nothing.. keep it burns make it flames cherish your every moment with different experience as life is too a stage where every man and women on it are actor. you are already one of them.. so fight for the best.. the best in you.......

also..some words for myself.. reminder.. wake up.. when it haven't ends.. cherish !!