I dont know what have got into me but i realize that i can be very very very childish when im with him... i do not dare to put so much hope... just play along and see how it goes... hmmm

2015 - what a start hahaha

Okay.. i've been away for so long so long. So here's the thing.. a few of my freinds already received their posting letter last week.. mostly were sent to selangor.. and its a chinese school.. yes sjk(c)! So please be jealous wee win nie.

And yes.. i do felt glad cz i've been busy about the flood in my area and also settle stuff back at my granny's.. so most documents couldnt be prepared on time if i was to be selected. However... (yes.. here goes.. there's always been a turning point in everything right #wink)

However.. after settle down a few days went online and saw most of my chinese friends got posted and looks happy.. that seems to put me in a state of depression.. like seriously. I've been blaming myself for not choosing selangor. I've been regreting that i didnt pray on time. I've been wondering so many and many of 'what ifs'. Gosh that feelings sucks ! I started calling schools near my area asking for any vacancies.. but most of the HMs assume that this batch (my batch) of students suppose to get posted by this time.. so they already called in the form6 students to fill up the vacant.. so there goes my final hope as an unemployed person.. durhhhh ! But well (yes.. another turning point.. i could think and reflect fast sometimes #anotherwink)

But well.. thinking back that my parents have been doing everything for the chinese new year for 5 years plus.. so now its time for me to take over that role.. and yes mummy can rest assure after school hours as most of the chores at home will be all done. So.. its not bad being unemployed after all.. just make sure u r useful wherever or whatever u r.. :)

What's on my mind now is travelling.. spending time visting friends that i might not able to catch up after work is a must now. As friends i mentioned earlier i mean those that im close with.. as in super damb close. Cz i dont dare imagining going to their house with full of crickets sound 'krik krik krik'

As for now.. reading is partly my hobby that i re-discover.. yes i've been putting it aside for a long time so now since i cant travel here n there everyday so i might as well travel into fantasy.. it makes me feel great. Well writing? Part n parcel laa.. not so eager in writing anything yet. Oh im sorry.. blogging is not writing.. its.. i dont know.. expressing? Nahhh.. its just blogging.. different.. no wonder it have different names.. or else we might called blogging writing instead of blogging. Oh shoot !

Yes im crapping.. so thats all about now i guess.. till now ;)

Again. Never have the guts to man up and text him for only a birthday wish. Gosh what a jerk am i??? I miss u dude. After all these years. Still. Wish u all the best in ur career path ! Enjoyed all the video.. hope to collaborate with u someday. Maybe. Have a blast !

一个人默默走了很久... those memories... it all flush back...

Im tired of being the one handling every situation. Seriously tired. My friends are either the second or the youngest or the only daughther in the family and i was like the one who always get to make all decisions. I wish to just follow the flow sometimes. Take a break.. especially from always being the patient ones.. hearing them out and what not. What i dont get is that they always got to say what they wanna say.. and i'll just listen despite them throwing every single temper on me.. im used to it. But when things goes the opposite way.. they will be the one complaining that im too emotional im this im that. Cmmon.. im always the listener and is it wrong for u to sometimes hear me out? Its not like i will be bothering u forever. I just need that few minutes to tell what i suppose to tell. Well i guess that maybe i was meant to be only the listener in every relationship. Cz whenever i kept my thoughts to myself.. things seldom get complicated. I've experience that.. most of the time.. in most relationships.. and i guess i just figure out what am i.. after all these years of late night thoughts. Wow !

Everything is coming to an end. Soon winnie. Soon. Just hang in there. A little bit more. Dream big. Explore wonders. Find myself. Know people. Make friends. Settle down. Gear up myself and ready to faced every challenges as a teacher ! Fuhhhhhhh. I really think a lot ! Take one at a time winnie... lets dream big !

All these are killing me ! I dont even feel good to be back there... everyone keep rushing on one common thing.. freedom ! Away from all these and enjoy the moment before the reality calls. Not to be eager to be in school.. just that teaching and studying is a total different thing and i really prefer teaching...

K. Better start crapping on my assignments. That would somehow lessen my worries.

#homesick #finalsem #senioryearlahsangat #cantwait #betterstophashtagging #chaww #adios #ijustdontdaretofacemywork #thisisforreal #bye