hi..
its been a while..
yes..
i realized..
i'll only come to you in times..
times like.. well you know..

i've tried..
tried hard not to express too much..
as my words might be misinterpreted..
caused misunderstanding..
leads to arguments..
which i hate the most..

i've tried..
tried hard not to express too much..
as i wish to keep..
just between us..
but sometimes..
i feel better with myself..
only me and my writings..
as it follows my will..
put it in words whenever i want..
remain silent whenever i want..

i've tried..
tried to follow what am i suppose to..
but its not easy..
doing what isn't actually the habit..
im sorry
if sometimes i've stranded away from the schedule
the must and mustn't
the do's and don'ts

i'm confused
i'm lost
i'm speechless
that's why i prefer to be in silence..
as it makes me feel myself again..
as in the silence.. i found myself..

#ilyimy #always~

It came clear in my mind..

.. we were having a deep conversation. i never thought we could have one. i asked.. what was the best thing that had happened to you. he closed his eyes.. and after a few ticks on my watch he opened.. he looked at me.. i smiled. as expected.. i thought. then he looked away.. pointed to a lady standing at the corner.. -> her~ he replied.. his husky low tone broke the silence.. but yet sounded firm enough to make me wanting to look towards my right.. she turned.. and i saw.. myself ..

Thanks for this beautiful dream :')

As usual.. i step in my first class on Monday.. 5M..

As usual.. Monday = spelling day

As usual.. i continue introducing the topic of the day..

As usual.. translate.. for easier and better understanding.. GTM is totally a must.. ease ur burden..

As usual.. various level of students.. so i prefer to go average.. no too fast for the average ones.. and not too slow for the better ones..

As usual.. i assume everyone was doing fine during the lesson..

Suddenly.. she cried.. complaint about her headache.. and was given the permission to rest..

After class.. she came to me.. explaining her main reason..

She cried.. cz she couldnt catch up on the topic i taught..

#inhale #exhale

It took me a few seconds to regain my mind back to the reality..

Dear teachers.. mistakes were made as we teach.. stop chasing on the unfinished syllabus.. take a closer look.. they are screaming for help..

p/s :: im sorry dear.. i'll make it up on u.. thanks for realizing me :')

True though.. when u earn ur own money.. u will be damn concern how they flow.. and will totally plan better in the future.. i guess that is the reason why i was scolded by my parents when i simply bought any junk stuff during my school days.. i'll totally be a planner in the future.

p/s :: for this time being i totally miss my era on stage.. easy $$$ *hahahaha*

Weekends are meant to be spent. And yes ! Its always well spent when im with u.. thanks for ur time *wink

Many more weekends awaits !

I dont know what have got into me but i realize that i can be very very very childish when im with him... i do not dare to put so much hope... just play along and see how it goes... hmmm

2015 - what a start hahaha

Okay.. i've been away for so long so long. So here's the thing.. a few of my freinds already received their posting letter last week.. mostly were sent to selangor.. and its a chinese school.. yes sjk(c)! So please be jealous wee win nie.

And yes.. i do felt glad cz i've been busy about the flood in my area and also settle stuff back at my granny's.. so most documents couldnt be prepared on time if i was to be selected. However... (yes.. here goes.. there's always been a turning point in everything right #wink)

However.. after settle down a few days went online and saw most of my chinese friends got posted and looks happy.. that seems to put me in a state of depression.. like seriously. I've been blaming myself for not choosing selangor. I've been regreting that i didnt pray on time. I've been wondering so many and many of 'what ifs'. Gosh that feelings sucks ! I started calling schools near my area asking for any vacancies.. but most of the HMs assume that this batch (my batch) of students suppose to get posted by this time.. so they already called in the form6 students to fill up the vacant.. so there goes my final hope as an unemployed person.. durhhhh ! But well (yes.. another turning point.. i could think and reflect fast sometimes #anotherwink)

But well.. thinking back that my parents have been doing everything for the chinese new year for 5 years plus.. so now its time for me to take over that role.. and yes mummy can rest assure after school hours as most of the chores at home will be all done. So.. its not bad being unemployed after all.. just make sure u r useful wherever or whatever u r.. :)

What's on my mind now is travelling.. spending time visting friends that i might not able to catch up after work is a must now. As friends i mentioned earlier i mean those that im close with.. as in super damb close. Cz i dont dare imagining going to their house with full of crickets sound 'krik krik krik'

As for now.. reading is partly my hobby that i re-discover.. yes i've been putting it aside for a long time so now since i cant travel here n there everyday so i might as well travel into fantasy.. it makes me feel great. Well writing? Part n parcel laa.. not so eager in writing anything yet. Oh im sorry.. blogging is not writing.. its.. i dont know.. expressing? Nahhh.. its just blogging.. different.. no wonder it have different names.. or else we might called blogging writing instead of blogging. Oh shoot !

Yes im crapping.. so thats all about now i guess.. till now ;)